OMG I'm Cursed, Really?

Today somehow the subject of feeling cursed came up, so I though this would be a great topic. So here I go:  I was born on a rainy day, gloomy and doomy, the sky's were starless, so on and so on.  Boy how is it we could ever feel cursed?  There are times when we are walking and going through the fire, that these feelings are fueled by our bad decisions, and other times just in the wrong place at the right time.  The wear and tear to our bodies, let alone our minds and spirit, so very draining.  That is wears us down till we start believing that maybe we could be cursed, and then there are people(s)  that add the fuel into believing in the cursed syndrome.  They may say, "wow, you must have done something really bad to have this kind of karma coming at you", or "you must be a bad person."  I could think of some really choice words to express my feeling about these kind people(s), none of them good. lol   There motives are very questionable.  I have personally experienced these type of remarks that fed into my low self esteem, which made me feel I was very cursed, and shame on them for ever uttering word as these.   Remembering back to the traumas that I lived through, stirred up strong emotions, of the I know that I know, that I'm not cursed.  Not only are we stronger wiser from the trauma and the hurts that scared us.  We are survivors, a living testimony of how the human spirit is alive and well in us.  So if we allow ourselves to buy into the I'm cursed syndrome, what is this doing to our heart?  Back again to the balancing of the body, mind and spirit.  How can we grow and heal, and be strong if we are holding on to this ridiculous believe of being cursed?  So once again it is vital to guard our minds to what we allow to grow in our believe system.  Think about this, if we believe we are cursed, then our spiritual life is affected, and that the curses are great and strong than our God, and that he is weak, and we really don't have faith in him.  I believe God is bigger, and greater than any situation we can face.  This did not happen over night, it took sometime to build up to.  I learned to rewords my thoughts and my words to reflect this believe. 

Don't Look To The Past, To Find Love Again!

Boy this title was a tough!  Because doesn't it just kill you, well I'm being dramatic, but doesn't just about kill you when your heart has been broke into millions of pieces, and just as the last piece  is in place, the person(s) that cause us so much pain tries to come back into our lives.  Oh yeah they will say they have missed you, and just want to be friends!  Boy if I had a nickle for every time I heard that one, I be very wealthy!  And yes I convince myself I was the bigger person and I had forgiven and yes we could be friends.  Then something snaps and that love we felt for them just about runs us over. Needless to say, If it didn't workout the first time around, more than likely this will end very badly for us!  I feel if we need a friend, we probably shouldn't look in a dumper for one, but expand our horizons and pick one or more of the many other person(s) here on planet Earth.  I think I like my odds much better with a new, new friend, than a heart breaker, recycled friend.  Don't get me wrong I'm all for recycling and helping to save our environment, but a recycle friend, no I'll pass.  Forgiveness is great and I highly recommend it, not for the other person(s), but for ourselves.  It keeps us from bitterness, anger and just all around bad karma!  Because lets face it, and even put a label on it.  This relationship has an expiration date, and that date has come and gone.  I mean who would eat or drink something that has expired?  Yuk, so its the little details that helps to put thing into place, and well it helps to act on, and recall the memories, and not let our heart cloud our judgments.  Because what feels good at first can lead to playing Russian roulette, even with the best intentions in mind.  Remember the medic that has to do the patch up jobs on us, when we choose badly.  Our heart loves to love, and as a whole body, mind and spirit connection we owe it to ourselves to trust and listen to the warning, warning, abort, abort messages.  Because if we can hear it, and choose to ignore it, well then its check in time at the heart break hotel once again.  I hope you'll try out the, "This relationship has officially expired, and it's out of here!"   

The Pains of Joy!

Well its been less than a week since my spinal tap, and Owie it still hurts.  But the flip side is I'm still alive and kicks!  I have to say the first few days after I got out of hospital, I wanted to go back!  The pain in my head and neck and lower back, and the feeling of having to throw up, yuk!  So today I awoke and no headache ahhhh, and giving myself time to heal, and not rush myself back to quickly, because I'm famous for that!  I'm happy, really happy, I have a roof over my head, enough food for my belly, and I am loved.  Weather it be one or many that love me, or just that I love myself, that works for me.  This is how joy happens, so If we stop just enough to allow joy to outweigh the pain, then my friend we are in the black and not the red.  Ok, I got into the bookkeepers way of saying it, red being we are spent out, and black we are in the clear and ok!  And for those that are thinking mmm, how does this have anything to do with a healed heart speaks out, will let me tell you then!  Our wonderful heart beats stronger and steadier, when our body, mind, spirit are in balance and aligned.  And if we can and do laugh and not take ourselves so seriously, life is so much more sweeter.  Like the late Jackie Gleason would say, " Oh how sweet it is!"  So if I were to draw a map of this amazing feat, it would be different for each one of us, but there would be one thing that is the same, and that sameness connect us all to one another!  So and owie and or boo boo on our finger, is not life-threatening,  but it is how we react to this or any other incidents.  So it's a big piece of cake right?

Just Another Day In Setback Hotel!

I do hope you can see and find the humor in our setbacks.  Because when it is all said and done, what does it matter, and this is an amazing opportunity we are given to overcome our setback!  And believe me I've had more than my fare share of setbacks, and yes I cried a lot about it.  I has a biopsy of my throat on Monday, and the next day I was admitted into hospital for five days, with the diagnosis of Guillain-Barre, which was something else.  It's an autoimmune sickness  that our own immune system attacks the nervous system.  So this was a very big setback, and  I asked to speak to a clergyman, and asked him questions, and for prayer.  Sometime hearing someone else perspective, or share what they did in the same situation .  This went very well, and it gave me peace.  The amazing truth is my heart is well and most of the times happy.  So as I have said before; body, mind, spirit healing need to be in balance.  For true balance is to let go of the old stuff, get a hold of good stuff, live fully balance in the now stuff.  Ok I'm just a silly one!

The Casualties Of War!

In this life we will hurt one or more close person(s) in our lives.  Most of the time without any intentions of hurting them, let alone wounding them.  And then there are the  relationship that go so south overnight than brings out an evil that is hides within us.  Yes we will deny this for a long time till it shows us it's ugly, right in your face looking in the mirror moments.   As for myself it was, no way there was an evil that bad in me, I mean I have God, I'm a spiritual person, and well I wouldn't do that. Yes I sure lived in a fantasy world, but to my sad surprise not only was I that evil, I was justify by it.  You know that saying,"They started it," seem to cloud my vision for such a very long time.  In the wake of all this anger I wounded my connection to God,  my precious children, my family, my career, my relationships, my, my, my, I could go on, and on.  So as the medic's on the battle fields worked feverishly to put me back together, and my friendly fire victims, the look on there faces,  at times they would speak some times with kind words, other times with harsh words.  Seeing the repeat, and repeating of the same wounds, that just when they had healed I would run right back into the battle field with the same strategy, thinking there would be a different outcome.  Now that is crazy friend!  When we find ourselves in the battle fields of life we can be the better person and walk away and save ourselves from the pains of war.  I have ask for forgiveness from God, from my children, and others, some have forgive me, others still hold on to the hurt, this is where I got hung up with te blaming myself, and most importantly I had to forgive myself for this evil. Accept that I am many things, and where I'm weak, or strong I have to find my balance and apply God's love all over the place!  Peace to all!