The Casualties Of War!

In this life we will hurt one or more close person(s) in our lives.  Most of the time without any intentions of hurting them, let alone wounding them.  And then there are the  relationship that go so south overnight than brings out an evil that is hides within us.  Yes we will deny this for a long time till it shows us it's ugly, right in your face looking in the mirror moments.   As for myself it was, no way there was an evil that bad in me, I mean I have God, I'm a spiritual person, and well I wouldn't do that. Yes I sure lived in a fantasy world, but to my sad surprise not only was I that evil, I was justify by it.  You know that saying,"They started it," seem to cloud my vision for such a very long time.  In the wake of all this anger I wounded my connection to God,  my precious children, my family, my career, my relationships, my, my, my, I could go on, and on.  So as the medic's on the battle fields worked feverishly to put me back together, and my friendly fire victims, the look on there faces,  at times they would speak some times with kind words, other times with harsh words.  Seeing the repeat, and repeating of the same wounds, that just when they had healed I would run right back into the battle field with the same strategy, thinking there would be a different outcome.  Now that is crazy friend!  When we find ourselves in the battle fields of life we can be the better person and walk away and save ourselves from the pains of war.  I have ask for forgiveness from God, from my children, and others, some have forgive me, others still hold on to the hurt, this is where I got hung up with te blaming myself, and most importantly I had to forgive myself for this evil. Accept that I am many things, and where I'm weak, or strong I have to find my balance and apply God's love all over the place!  Peace to all!