Look Inside For All Our Answer!

Boy how many times have you ask for advise, that you already knew the answer? I tell you, if I had a dollar for every time, I knew the answer, I'd be very, very wealthy!   So why do we seek for outside help, when we are so very capable with all the many wonderful gifts we possess.  There are so many reasons, but for myself there is only one reason; not trusting myself.  We will and do make many mistakes, and for the most part, that will better ourselves and our world around us.  So today is the last of 2012, I encourage you to trust, and love yourself for the many, or even for the one special gift; that you are!  Also I challenge you to seek God, and yourself for all the answer to all the questions you have, and you could call this your new years resolution!  Happy New Years my friends!
 Love Suzanne

OMG I'm Cursed, Really?

Today somehow the subject of feeling cursed came up, so I though this would be a great topic. So here I go:  I was born on a rainy day, gloomy and doomy, the sky's were starless, so on and so on.  Boy how is it we could ever feel cursed?  There are times when we are walking and going through the fire, that these feelings are fueled by our bad decisions, and other times just in the wrong place at the right time.  The wear and tear to our bodies, let alone our minds and spirit, so very draining.  That is wears us down till we start believing that maybe we could be cursed, and then there are people(s)  that add the fuel into believing in the cursed syndrome.  They may say, "wow, you must have done something really bad to have this kind of karma coming at you", or "you must be a bad person."  I could think of some really choice words to express my feeling about these kind people(s), none of them good. lol   There motives are very questionable.  I have personally experienced these type of remarks that fed into my low self esteem, which made me feel I was very cursed, and shame on them for ever uttering word as these.   Remembering back to the traumas that I lived through, stirred up strong emotions, of the I know that I know, that I'm not cursed.  Not only are we stronger wiser from the trauma and the hurts that scared us.  We are survivors, a living testimony of how the human spirit is alive and well in us.  So if we allow ourselves to buy into the I'm cursed syndrome, what is this doing to our heart?  Back again to the balancing of the body, mind and spirit.  How can we grow and heal, and be strong if we are holding on to this ridiculous believe of being cursed?  So once again it is vital to guard our minds to what we allow to grow in our believe system.  Think about this, if we believe we are cursed, then our spiritual life is affected, and that the curses are great and strong than our God, and that he is weak, and we really don't have faith in him.  I believe God is bigger, and greater than any situation we can face.  This did not happen over night, it took sometime to build up to.  I learned to rewords my thoughts and my words to reflect this believe. 

Don't Look To The Past, To Find Love Again!

Boy this title was a tough!  Because doesn't it just kill you, well I'm being dramatic, but doesn't just about kill you when your heart has been broke into millions of pieces, and just as the last piece  is in place, the person(s) that cause us so much pain tries to come back into our lives.  Oh yeah they will say they have missed you, and just want to be friends!  Boy if I had a nickle for every time I heard that one, I be very wealthy!  And yes I convince myself I was the bigger person and I had forgiven and yes we could be friends.  Then something snaps and that love we felt for them just about runs us over. Needless to say, If it didn't workout the first time around, more than likely this will end very badly for us!  I feel if we need a friend, we probably shouldn't look in a dumper for one, but expand our horizons and pick one or more of the many other person(s) here on planet Earth.  I think I like my odds much better with a new, new friend, than a heart breaker, recycled friend.  Don't get me wrong I'm all for recycling and helping to save our environment, but a recycle friend, no I'll pass.  Forgiveness is great and I highly recommend it, not for the other person(s), but for ourselves.  It keeps us from bitterness, anger and just all around bad karma!  Because lets face it, and even put a label on it.  This relationship has an expiration date, and that date has come and gone.  I mean who would eat or drink something that has expired?  Yuk, so its the little details that helps to put thing into place, and well it helps to act on, and recall the memories, and not let our heart cloud our judgments.  Because what feels good at first can lead to playing Russian roulette, even with the best intentions in mind.  Remember the medic that has to do the patch up jobs on us, when we choose badly.  Our heart loves to love, and as a whole body, mind and spirit connection we owe it to ourselves to trust and listen to the warning, warning, abort, abort messages.  Because if we can hear it, and choose to ignore it, well then its check in time at the heart break hotel once again.  I hope you'll try out the, "This relationship has officially expired, and it's out of here!"   

The Pains of Joy!

Well its been less than a week since my spinal tap, and Owie it still hurts.  But the flip side is I'm still alive and kicks!  I have to say the first few days after I got out of hospital, I wanted to go back!  The pain in my head and neck and lower back, and the feeling of having to throw up, yuk!  So today I awoke and no headache ahhhh, and giving myself time to heal, and not rush myself back to quickly, because I'm famous for that!  I'm happy, really happy, I have a roof over my head, enough food for my belly, and I am loved.  Weather it be one or many that love me, or just that I love myself, that works for me.  This is how joy happens, so If we stop just enough to allow joy to outweigh the pain, then my friend we are in the black and not the red.  Ok, I got into the bookkeepers way of saying it, red being we are spent out, and black we are in the clear and ok!  And for those that are thinking mmm, how does this have anything to do with a healed heart speaks out, will let me tell you then!  Our wonderful heart beats stronger and steadier, when our body, mind, spirit are in balance and aligned.  And if we can and do laugh and not take ourselves so seriously, life is so much more sweeter.  Like the late Jackie Gleason would say, " Oh how sweet it is!"  So if I were to draw a map of this amazing feat, it would be different for each one of us, but there would be one thing that is the same, and that sameness connect us all to one another!  So and owie and or boo boo on our finger, is not life-threatening,  but it is how we react to this or any other incidents.  So it's a big piece of cake right?

Just Another Day In Setback Hotel!

I do hope you can see and find the humor in our setbacks.  Because when it is all said and done, what does it matter, and this is an amazing opportunity we are given to overcome our setback!  And believe me I've had more than my fare share of setbacks, and yes I cried a lot about it.  I has a biopsy of my throat on Monday, and the next day I was admitted into hospital for five days, with the diagnosis of Guillain-Barre, which was something else.  It's an autoimmune sickness  that our own immune system attacks the nervous system.  So this was a very big setback, and  I asked to speak to a clergyman, and asked him questions, and for prayer.  Sometime hearing someone else perspective, or share what they did in the same situation .  This went very well, and it gave me peace.  The amazing truth is my heart is well and most of the times happy.  So as I have said before; body, mind, spirit healing need to be in balance.  For true balance is to let go of the old stuff, get a hold of good stuff, live fully balance in the now stuff.  Ok I'm just a silly one!

The Casualties Of War!

In this life we will hurt one or more close person(s) in our lives.  Most of the time without any intentions of hurting them, let alone wounding them.  And then there are the  relationship that go so south overnight than brings out an evil that is hides within us.  Yes we will deny this for a long time till it shows us it's ugly, right in your face looking in the mirror moments.   As for myself it was, no way there was an evil that bad in me, I mean I have God, I'm a spiritual person, and well I wouldn't do that. Yes I sure lived in a fantasy world, but to my sad surprise not only was I that evil, I was justify by it.  You know that saying,"They started it," seem to cloud my vision for such a very long time.  In the wake of all this anger I wounded my connection to God,  my precious children, my family, my career, my relationships, my, my, my, I could go on, and on.  So as the medic's on the battle fields worked feverishly to put me back together, and my friendly fire victims, the look on there faces,  at times they would speak some times with kind words, other times with harsh words.  Seeing the repeat, and repeating of the same wounds, that just when they had healed I would run right back into the battle field with the same strategy, thinking there would be a different outcome.  Now that is crazy friend!  When we find ourselves in the battle fields of life we can be the better person and walk away and save ourselves from the pains of war.  I have ask for forgiveness from God, from my children, and others, some have forgive me, others still hold on to the hurt, this is where I got hung up with te blaming myself, and most importantly I had to forgive myself for this evil. Accept that I am many things, and where I'm weak, or strong I have to find my balance and apply God's love all over the place!  Peace to all!

Sick Of Being Sick!

Ok now that was a mouthful, Sick of being Sick!  As I have reached the wonder age of 1/2 a century lol, the wisdom of living & growing through the bull, that reveals the beautiful roses that I am.  Now to the being sick of being sick.  So what we feed our bodies & minds will and do affect our overall self. So the saying, "you are what you eat,", &  "you are what you think," are key components to our physiology  Until we deal with the past it will fester in us, and make us very sick or die!  I say, "amen to that one!"  The funny & strange thing is that when we finally let go of the garbage, our bodies are so tired, and somewhat weak, due to the toxic or uplifting thoughts we are feeding our mind that stimulate our world.  Bringing me back to, sick of being sick, because now that I am feeding my body & mind with good & uplifting thoughts & meditation, and all the medications.  Of course my body is tired & weak, I had just about wore it out.  So now is the hard part, being patience and giving myself time to heal, and not rushing it.  So my sweets, the choice is yours, to make it as hard, or as simple as you decide.

Practice What We Preach!

Ok an example I will give you is; a nutritionist that is very obese, teaching you how to eat.  Well lets not jump into conclusions, that this nutritionist isn't practicing what they preach.  Because there are health issues to consider, who are any of us to judge!  But sad to admit we do, I do judge.  It is an everyday occurrence, we are program from very young on how we look at things.  Our parents a big influence on how we perceive the world. Etc; fat people are lazy, fat people are sad, fat people need special attention, fat omg I could go on, and on.  I am using this etc as it pertains to the nutritionist, I'm not picking on obese persons.  You see our mind, body, spirit balancing is so important in all aspects of life.  Our hearts should be treat with a love that  respect and protect it from any form of abuses.  This self love will and does links into all arena of life.  Etc.; spiritual connection, healthy body & mind & spirit, great jobs, community involvement.  A healed heart speaks out, is not perfect by one way, but by trial and error, till we find our own sync in life.  But back to the obese nutritionist, it is so easy to talk the talk, but when it come to walking the talk, now that is when it get fun.  Ok, not really but is could.  I am a living testimony to the fact that until you face your demons; whatever they maybe, you will stay stuck, lost and more likely to feel sorry for your self.  The most liberating thing of all, is _________________________!  You fill in the blank.  For me it was the simple act of love that I gave so freely to others, to me!  Amazing hum, who would have thunk it!  Here is a good quote;" preaching to the choir," let remember leave the preaching for the preachers.   Be an example of what your sharing, this is so very important; offer your help, but wait till they are ready.  Ok, here another quote; "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink it."  Well for now; heart to heart be and know your loved!

Oops It's Been A While!

Wow, how time fly when you not having fun!  lol.  Anyways so much has happen, both good and not so good.  However I am so thankful either way.   Believe me this was not an easy place to get t0o.  How strange it is to come to realize, that I allowed a rejection to rules my world for a time.  The key here, is for a time and as in all thing, healing come after we admit to ourselves, that we were and or are still hurting.  Little or big hurt, doesn't matter, what matter is our actions we take after the fact.  It is so funny how after a serious breakup some, ok most of us want revenge!  I get this, really I do, but what a waste of life, of plotting and allowing bitterness to take control.  Then there is the victim role that I will admit I was an academy award winner.  What a waste again of precious time.  There does come a time when that the person that broke your heart has moved on, and with someone new.  There you are stuck in the murky mess that we choose to waddle in.  So I say the best and far more enjoyable thing to do, is go on with life and love.  This doesn't mean you jump into the next relationship without giving yourself time to heal, because the next love deserves a health loving partner, with minimal baggage.  So where am I in all this wonderful opportunities?  I'm in the discovering of what a wonderful loving and respecting woman I am.  So am I ready to jump into the relationship ring?  Mmm maybe, maybe not, but the one thing I do know is that my heart is beating stronger, wiser, and with a new found respect.  Because when it is all said and done, the only thing we have control of, it our own actions.  No need of pretending your not hurt, because believe it or not, most people can see through your acting.  So I highly recommend, do what works for you, but there is a say,"If you do what you always did, your get what you always got."  Now this really through me for a loop, because I had all the answers, I mean I was at the time very young, naive and all so gullible.  Talk about a recipe for disaster!  The good news is, I don't know everything, and what fun would that be?  Life is a live and learning experience, that we get a fresh start every morning. 

I'm A Work In Progress!

I'm a work in progress!  Mmmm I wonder if there is a 12 steps for broken hearts?  Seriously!  Anyways, I believe that to be spiritually connected is the key, to everything in life.  There are so many expression of spirituality, and well I truly believe that when we connect, it connect us to greater possibility.  It makes the impossible, possible.  I have never blogged, and since I'm on this journey of healing my body, mind & spirit.  I would blog it, to share with others of this incredibly painful, joyful event.   As a kid in school, I was the one that would ask the question, everyone else want to know, but were afraid to ask.  And the funny, strange thing is I was so shy.  So the fall down on your face and get back up, and dust yourself, is just the kind of woman I am.  So I guess you could say I have lots of practice and experience.  Well I'm having brain fog, due to fighting off the flu.

Now starts the fun stuff!

It's been a rough few days!  I have had the wonderful, ok, I'm being sarcastic.  I had to visit the emergency room two times this week.  So I have been somewhat distracted.  I am a survivor of a pulmonary embolism, and that my friends was enough to stop a heart, no pun intended.  So back to the subject in hand.  The title to my blog, "A Healed Heart Speaks,"  well most of us have lived through many heartaches, and heartbreaks.  So I am referring to, the moving on with life, and loving again.  I have to saying I using to bounce back much more quickly, than my last relationship.  But the great news is we can, will and do move on.  Sometime all on our own, and other time with by with a little or a lot of help from our friends.  I can hear the Beatles' song, "I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends."  Then sometime from therapy, groups, this is not for everyone, but don't knock it, till you've tried it.  What I have found for myself, is that I had to see, and learn to love myself first.  This is not brain surgery, but dear God it only took me some 29 years, plus the 20+ year experience to get this down. lol  Life is so incredible, and incredibly short!  So call it in-tuning, spiritualism, mantra's find your sync, and sink your teeth into it.  Because at the end of the day, why do we care if someone didn't love us, there loss.  But if we don't love and respect ourselves, how can we ever expect someone else too.  We are all amazing, incredible, wonderful beings, we just have to realize it, and manifest it!  Simple, real it is.  We just have to listen to our heart, and say it loud and proud, " We are Loved!"  Because we love ourselves first!  Well I'll be back!  Sending out some L-O-V-E!

Starting somewhere!

Beat Still My Heart!

You might believe, that there is no way one can claim to have a healed heart.  You maybe be right, as it apply to you, as for I, I know that a heart is a living, breathing organ, that suffers at the hand of the one it is beating for. The abuse  this wonderful organ, undergoes is unending, and yet it manages to survive countless attacks. Weather it by the food(s), or addiction(s), our heart fights to survive all these self-inflicted abuses.  Then the pain, that love, or the lack of love, that makes or breaks our heart.  Another thing that the heart is subjected too. So back to a healed heart, and my answer, and believe is that the heart does heal.  And if we are smart, we will protect it, and give it love as often as possible.  For what a waste of space, if we after the countless heartaches we didn't surrender to love again, and again, and yes again!  I am only giving a testimony,  I am not a medical professional, but since I do have a heart, and have had 
many heartbreaks, and with that said, I believe this make me an excellent expert!  Well enough for now, since I have given enough to chew a while... lol